hrmanagementbites

Thoughts about hr and management in the real world – extra information I couldn't fit in my books!.

Secret Blogging

There’s a lot of really crappy things happening out there at the moment – not just to me, but to lots of HR people. People who are being bullied and harassed, who are being asked to do things which aren’t ethical, who are working with incompetent leadership teams who are creating toxic workplaces. Having to report to awful HR managers who make their lives miserable and aren’t interested in delivering great HR. Working long hours as you can’t do what’s needed with the resources given. Restructuring yourself out of a job or restructuring others. And on it goes.

One of the tools I’ve recently found useful to deal with bad times is writing a secret blog.

How is this different from just writing an email that you’d like to send? Or writing in a journal?

I’ve found that writing a secret blog has a few hidden advantages!

  1. Often writing an email to someone that you’d like to send, makes you feel worse about the whole situation as it’s so personal. You have to relive what happened and get even more upset or aggressive. A secret blog on the other hand is an objective article – so you have to be one step removed.
  2. Because you want to structure your blog post so that it reads well (rather than just a rambling rant!), you have to think about the issue you’re frustrated or angry about from a reader’s point of view – and think of what the wider issue is. What are you really trying to say here? What’s really the bigger issue rather than just something that’s upsetting you?
  3. You want your blog to come to a conclusion, so writing a secret blog can make you try and find an action point or a finish point to what you’ve written – which you don’t get when writing an email or journal.

Now the thing is ….. you’ll never read these blogs. They are just for me.

Sometimes you just want to get something off your chest. And you know that sharing it wouldn’t do any good for a number of reasons:

  • Because what you have to say isn’t something the person it’s about wants to hear. In fact, far from removing their blind spot, it would probably just cause them to dig in further. I’ve learned from experience that unless people want help, offering them your suggestions just makes them entrench (although sometimes you can plant a seed of a thought with them…).
  • Because what you have to say you know lots of people may disagree with, it’s controversial and not the general thinking and at the moment that’s not a fight that you want to have.
  • Because being taken to the High Court restricts what you can say and you may antagonise the situation further, even if you write just about the facts (which can also apply if you’re involved in HR processes that are confidential).

So my secret blogs will probably always remain secret, except ….. sometimes by writing it as a secret blog – it can lead to an actual blog about the bigger issue! (my recent post ‘I am so great’ about women undermining themselves came from a secret blog about a situation I was annoyed by).

So if you’re feeling frustrated by an issue, or you’re dealing with something awful in your life – try a secret blog. You might just find that it helps you make sense of the situation! Happy secret blogging everyone.

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5 comments on “Secret Blogging

  1. hrmannz
    May 13, 2015

    Great post Angela. I confess I too often write posts knowing they will never be published just because I need to. Very cathartic sometimes.

  2. TashHR
    May 13, 2015

    This is a great post! Timely as well with what I’m currently working on for my own personal development. It is important to vent and be cathartic, but equally important to take a step back and think about the situation and either find a resolution or rethink the mind.

  3. Pingback: Secret Blogging | insideHR

  4. kylietelford
    May 14, 2015

    Agree with you Angela – and Richard & Tash. I write myself emails. Very therapeutic, and sometimes they turn into real blogs – often a lot later and with major editing!

  5. angelaatkins
    May 15, 2015

    One day we could publish a book… the secret HR files. I suspect it would be quite interesting reading!!

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This entry was posted on May 13, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , .
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